Bring it on!

A battle wages. The war between good intentions and slothful habits.
My excuses pile up like dirty laundry all over the bathroom floor. Regret is like a bad taste in my mouth.

The second hand on the clock ticks unmercifully... and doesn't stop. If only I could slow down time!

There is an infusion like gentle rain that pours down and quenches my thirsty soul.

There is hope for the next minute, for success, for joy, for contentment.

My heart bows down as I scrub the syrup off the kitchen floor. First humility, then combat.

I find that there are two sides to my personal reformation. There is submission and resistance. James 4:7 says : Submit yourselves therefore to God, Resist the devil and he will flee.

I must fill my heart with repentance and submission; asking God for a pure heart that I may see Him involved on my behalf. Yet, I must also take up arms against that which opposes my joy, my fulfillment, my very existence. I feel an aggression coming upon me - an anger and defiance. I hear the roar of the lion of the tribe of Judah!

Look out: I'm not going to let down on this battle. I will not give in, I will not give up. If God is for me, who can be against me? WHOM SHALL I FEAR?
(insert victorious 'ROAR' here!)

Grace for Everything (spilt juice, being late for swimming lessons, fussy teething babies......)

So it is the 4th day of my journey of Reformation. I have noticed that I have a little more grace today. I am able to enjoy my children a little more than I did before. I prayed for each of them, caressing their sweet soft skin, tucking them into bed. Of course now they're giggling and goofing off (oh the joys of sharing a room).

In my heart, I hear a whisper: His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Out of all the times to decide to make a change in my attitudes and actions, this is probably one of the worst. I'm hormonal and emotional and nauseous from early pregnancy. Not to mention continually tired!

Yet what a perfect time for God to say: No, let me do it through you.

I am not wise, strong or eloquent in speech. I am no super-mommy. I am not without spot or blemish (and I also mean that literally; baby goop is always getting on me!)

Yet He is fulfilling His word in me. He is faithful and more than able to complete the work He started in me. (Keep going; there's so much more to be done!)

I yield.

Simple Recipes

I love how God has so many great answers for us, all laid out in His Word, and it is there for the taking; we just have to dig in!

Here's what I found today: Psalm 4:
4 Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah 5 Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And put your trust in the Lord.

6 There are many who say, "Who will show us any good?" Lord, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us. 7 You have put gladness in my heart, More than in the season that their grain and wine increased. 8 I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Okay, so no more sinning in my anger. I wonder what that really means in regards to my children. Probably that I need to be active in my discipline towards them. It is wrong for me to ask them to obey and then not require it of them. I should not let them sin by letting them get away with disobedience again and again... and that only makes me more angry anyway! So I have a key point for myself to work on today: enforce first-time obedience in my children so I don't get angry and yell more than I should!

What else has God said? "meditate on your bed" Oooohh! That sounds like nap-time! What better way to become refreshed than to lay down while the kids are having quiet-time and naps, and spend time meditating on the goodness of God! Refreshment for body, mind and spirit! I love it!

Another part of this passage that really stands out to me is "Lord lift up your countenance upon us. You have put gladness in my heart" I need this so badly. I need to have God's light shining on me. And I certainly need His gladness in my heart. I find that I am generally not a very joyful person - but if God's very countenance is covering me... I'll take some of that!

I like how this passage ends with a wonderful night-time prayer. "I will both lie down in peace, and sleep" He gives a recipe to make my day go better, and He says that He will keep my family as we sleep. We will be safe. Things are going to be okay.

So maybe I don't need happy-pills, I just need injections of scripture, and God's presence in my life. Fill me up God... I surely do need it!

21 Days of Reformation

A good friend of mine invited me to join her on a journey: 21 days of reformation. My job is to figure out what needs to change, and ask God to transform that inside me and show me ways to change.

Something that has grieved my heart a lot lately is rooted deeply in my attitude and disposition; particularly toward my children. I get so frustrated. I don't know how to enjoy them. I yell. I get mad. I wake up grumpy, and the day never really improves.

Right now I have no fascinating revelations regarding this problem in me. I'm merely hungry for a change. I long for God to do something with me because I surely can't fix up any of this on my own. He is the source of true joy and delight, so I will do my best to look to Him today.

HEEELLLLP!