Day 3 - Spring Cleaning

(Click here to read Day 1 and the Introduction)

(Day 2)

Day 3:

Well, just a quick update if you're wondering how the sugar-bust is taking it's course in my life.

I think one of the most difficult things about choosing a different way of eating is that it involves a lot of planning. You have to think ahead about what sort of meals you will have, and ensure that those ingredients are available. You can't just snack on all the "ready-to-eat" snack foods that we so commonly turn to when we feel a little hungry.

Here are some of the meals I ate yesterday for day 3: I scrambled eggs with garlic, spinach and a bit of feta cheese for breakfast. (A little too garlicky first thing in the morning!) For lunch, I made a simple Coconut-Curry-Cauliflower soup with some homemade chicken stock, and it is super-delicious and follows the parameters of the diet. For supper we had Greek Salad, and some Greek-style pork kabob thingies (which, after grilling on a George Foreman grill ended up looking like lopsided patties, not kabobs). I actually felt happily satisfied after dinner!

Here's the big news. I had to quickly run to the store to pick up a couple items, and I wasn't going crazy at the sight of all the "off limits" foods! I walked past the chip aisle with scorn in my eyes, knowing that it was not something that would make me feel happy. I tried to show disdain when walking down the chocolate aisle, but it wasn't quite so easy. There was a little bit of longing associated with the chocolate bars, junior mints, and especially with the bars of dark chocolate. I slowed my hustle for a moment to get a good look at the shiny packaged goodies, and began to salivate. "No." I told my tastebuds sternly and we (me and my tastebuds) continued to walk over to the vegetable section to buy some delicious, nutritious celery.

So, for the most part, I'm not feeling obsessed with those "quick-energy-releasing" sugary/starchy foods. I think that is a victory in itself! I am still prone to slip into occasional daydreams about what I will eat when these 10 days are over. I also found myself revealing my cravings with subliminal messages, like when I was teaching the spelling word "flow" to my kids and used it in the sentence: "I would like there to be a flow of chocolate running into my mouth." But apart from the occasional slips into my former sugar-driven thoughts, I'm doing well and I actually feel pretty decent. Oh, and no headaches at all - I guess I can survive on just one cup of coffee a day. (But should I try to cut down to no coffee? Hmmm.... sounds like a challenge... I'll get back to you on that one!)

Day 2 of my Spring Cleaning

(Click here to read Day 1 and the Introduction)

Here are my thoughts and feelings on my second day of the "Sugar-Cleanse-Diet".

Day 2:
I woke up and was still feeling very hungry and experiencing pretty severe cravings for starches and sugar. I had a couple eggs and my special new concoction for breakfast: cut up granny smith apples (this is one of the least sugary fruits, and having one a day is permitted in a lot of the food lists I looked up) mixed together with plain yoghurt, walnuts, cinnamon and nutmeg. It's actually quite tasty once you get past the sour-ness.

For lunch we had a brown rice and green vegetable stir fry (no sugary stir-fry sauces added, of course). This carried me through the day with a decent amount of energy, and I found that into the afternoon, I was thinking a lot less about sweets. I think the cravings are being beaten into submission!

We had a very delicious dinner - a tomato-beef pasta sauce served on top of spaghetti squash. I gobbled it down, enjoying every bite! Then I had to rush off to take my kids to AWANA, and I would be attending my last Grace Based Parenting class simultaneously.

Here's where I stumbled a little. There was coffee... Oh, wait! I guess I didn't mention that I planned to cut out most of my caffeine intake, and have been limiting myself to 1 cup a day. Usually during the class, there is an urn with de-caf coffee available, so I took one little styrofoam cup, and sipped it gratefully. However, I noticed about 20 minutes later that my usual subdued, calm demeanor was replaced with peppy participation during the class discussion. Uh oh! I think it actually contained caffeine. Ooops, sorry! (Sort of...)

In the later evening my husband and I talked about going out for a date, but we couldn't think of any place or any food that would be acceptable. We settled for the other half of our granny smith apples, (mine mixed with yogurty goodness) and a cup of decaf-earl grey mixed with just a little bit of unsweetened coconut milk. The tea was delicious and had a bit of a satisfying fattiness to it. It was difficult, however, to drink Earl Grey without eating some biscuits (a tradition I've had since I visited England as a teenager).

So my conclusion is that this is actually getting easier. I think the first 48 hours must be the hardest to manage. I've also been dealing with a minor headache off and on, which is probably from limiting caffeine.

I do like, however, the fact that I am feeling more in charge of my eating and not just listening to my feelings and emotions. I was always such a snacker, and would often eat (junk) without even really thinking about it, or even really enjoying it!

On a spiritual note, I do feel like there is significance in mastering my appetite and cravings. Philippians 3:19 says: "whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame--who set their mind on earthly things", speaking of those who are not surrendered to Christ and being transformed by Him. Although food seems like such a minor area, the Bible specifically talks about regular fasting (combined with prayer) as a healthy part of your Christian walk. While it may not be my intent to make this whole 10 day diet a spiritual experience, life has a way of connecting the dots, and what happens in your physical realm can have an effect on your spiritual realm. I have come to recognise in the last couple days, just how much control my cravings have over me. It has shown me how much of my hunger hasn't been true hunger, but a craving and perceived need in my mind. I think this is valuable information... which actually makes me more accountable to my actions (and eating habits) in the future.

Here's hoping that in day 3, I can make broccoli taste like Smarties!

Spring Cleaning

I'm going to be chronicling a new topic for me - one that involves the physical far more than the emotional being. I admit it, I hesitated as to whether my current endeavor would make for a good blog, considering I'm usually pondering the deeper meaning behind my life as a mom, wife and just being plain old me. But, here we go, I'm going to share my thoughts and feelings and weaknesses as I take the challenge of a 10 day sugar-cleansing diet.

The plan: 10 days of removing sugar and high-glycemic foods from my diet. So that means no breads, pasta, high-sugar fruits or veggies and certainly no ice cream, candy, and (gasp!) no chocolate.

Why? I'd like to cut out my sugar addiction, gain more energy, and kick-start my immune system. I will be eating tons of vegetables that are normally more of a garnish on my plate than a staple (mmm... broccoli, kale, ginger and turnips!), and I hope that my taste and desire for vegetables will be lasting and become a habit!

So that, in a nutshell, is how I'm doing this "cleanse". I'm not using a specific book, but I did actually borrow a lot of the "good foods" and "bad foods" list from sites that talk about candida (yeast overgrowth) in the body, which can often come from too much sugar.

Now that I've introduced my next ten days, I will be observing the effects and trials of following this "diet".

Day 1: Ummm... wait... in all honesty, I should probably begin with yesterday.
The Day Before: Okay, I'll admit it, I went slightly overboard binging on treats yesterday. Let's just say that my Sunday afternoon rest involved lounging on my bed, tackling a box of Junior Mints and some Reece's Pieces. Oh, and that was just the afternoon!

The evening was a perfect Mardi Gras before my Lent. Oh... if you didn't know, Mardi Gras happens to fall just before Lent - why? So everyone can get the partying and craziness out of their systems before they have to fast and be spiritual. Pretty typical of humanity to do this sort of thing, and the natural inclination was exhibited in my behavior as well. Yesterday evening just happened to be a girls movie night at a friend's house with the rule "no healthy snacks allowed". The intention was to gorge on chocolate, chips, candy, and more chocolate. I crammed myself full of goodies and washed it down with root beer. Our sappy movie was the perfect backdrop for our feast, and I was in a bit of a sugar coma at the end of the night. To be honest, I didn't feel very good. All the better to kick-start my upcoming fling with veggies and brown rice.

Day 1: You wouldn't believe how hungry I felt in the morning. Maybe it was the knowledge that I was changing my habits, but I opened the cupboards and to my disbelief, realized that nearly everything was "off limits". I settled on a handful of almonds, knowing that I'd be eating many delicious, nutritious veggies later in the day, after we did our special shopping trip. What's crazy though, is that I walked over to the counter and saw leftover chocolate from the night before and was instantly mesmerized. You would think that the binge the night before would have deterred me, but no! I would have gladly licked the leftover chocolate bits off the serving platter with gratitude.

Another thing I noticed was that after we ate our healthy lunch (grilled pork seasoned with garlic, smoked paprika, olive oil and lemon juice; along with a colorful spinach salad with an apple cider vinaigrette), I got to the place where I felt full, but I was still hungry. I greedily watched the children eat cheese buns with their lunch, and my brain was telling me that I needed that instant gratification that carbohydrates and sugars can offer. The hunger was in my mind - it was a craving that revealed what I already knew - I had a sugar addiction... Sugar makes me feel good, and can deliver good feelings fast.

So, after a day of eating sugar and carb free, I don't exactly feel hungry, but my body keeps telling me that I want to break the rules and satisfy my sweet tooth. I just wonder how long it will take before the obsession dies down? I don't want to spend my days ogling over my baby's bowl of cheerios, and salivating when I see my kids eat a banana... mmmm... even fruit sugar is addictive!

Perhaps my dreams tonight will involve a skittle rainbow, leading to fluffy cotton candy clouds. This is a magical land with magical creatures, like a bunny that poops out candy-coated chocolate eggs and cows that produce chocolate milk. Then there is me, sumptuously stretched out on my back, floating in a pool of dark chocolate.

Streamlining for a Better Journey

A couple of days ago, I described the immense challenge we took as a family to transport ourselves from North America to the other side of the globe. It was an incredible effort that required a lot of luggage for the journey. (You can read the story by clicking here.) We couldn't expect to buy some of the necessary items we needed like baby gear, books, and for me - maternity clothes when we arrived in Thailand, and we also wanted to bring a few comfort items along with us. So, we took advantage and used our entire luggage allotment and then some! Each suitcase was weighed and filled to 50 pounds and our carry on bags were stuffed with a menagerie of important items.

In my previous blog, I also painted a vivid picture of some of the hurdles we had to jump through just to get our bags to the other side of the security lines when we were in L.A.. Just imagine carrying a couple of very heavy suitcases through a crowded hallway, while also carrying overstuffed backpacks, and, all the while keeping track of 3 energetic young children!

Many of us walk through life feeling like we are a traveler dragging a couple old, wobbly suitcases; wearing a backpack loaded up with bricks and having our arms loaded up with a poorly stacked pile of books and files and other random objects. Try as we might, we can't seem to break into the momentum we'd like to have and we are weighed down by stuff from our past that we cling to - not knowing that life would be much better if we'd let go of those things. Sometimes what weighs us down is not quite as obvious, and it's more like we're wearing those old ankle weights that were popular back in the 80's - except the ankle weights are a good twenty pounds each, and really hinder your ability to pick up speed in life, and you always feel tired.

If you are lugging around some baggage in your life, there's a good chance you can quickly identify some of the most obvious things that are on your "to do list" that you'd like to work on. Life, to me, is about constant development and stepping up to challenges so I can do the best I can and become the best I can, with the time that has been allotted to me.

However, the nature of the baggage I'm about to tackle is more like the 80's ankle weights that you could hide beneath your workout clothes and no one would be the wiser. It seems to lurk beneath the surface. What I'm concerned about in my life if the kind of stuff you just want to ignore, sweep under the rug, pretend it's not there - or simply cope with and justify. It's the kind of issues that slowly wear you down, but they're not glaring faults, so they are easy to excuse.

When I was a child, and now that I have children myself, I've noticed that the concept of cleaning can be liberally interpreted. If I say "clean up the living room" to my 5 year old, that means she might move some toys around and pick up a couple random pieces of paper up off the floor, putting them on the kitchen counter or, heaven forbid, toss them into my bedroom for me to deal with later! Obviously this doesn't meet my standard of cleanliness, but to a 5 year old, some effort has been put in and she probably feels that the living room looks fine now. If I was going to pay my oldest child to clean up the living room (not that we pay our kids to do chores...) then my expectations and standards would be quite a bit higher. I would expect the broom and mop to come out, and I'd want the piano and fireplace mantle to be dusted. I wouldn't want to find any toys, papers, shoes, sippy cups, apple cores or cheerios under the couches! I might even expect the couch cushions to be vacuumed and windows to be washed.

As we inspect our lives, and more explicitly our hearts, we often treat the examination and soul-searching the way a 5 year old would clean the living room. The obvious issues might be repented of, and we pledge to change and make an effort to do better. Some of the things in our lives are obvious - and these problems are generally less dangerous because they are in the open and we aren't trying to ignore them! I believe the danger is in what lurks beneath the surface - those issues that we dread to uncover, face head-on and deal with once and for all.

However, my heart convicts me to look deeper and be willing to face things in my life which I have excused and justified for so long. I can't lie to myself and say that those issues are non-issues when they have a negative impact on my life and my relationship with others. So I am open to the revelation of mindsets that hold me back - emotions which pop up and have a poor effect on how I treat others. As humbling and scary as it is, I'm willing to see my faults so I can be open to change.

The Christian life is paradoxical in many ways. On one hand, God demands our time, effort, mind, will, emotions, and even our money, but on the other hand, He is a gentleman and will not force his way into our personal business. We must invite Him into the process.

Psalm 139 talks about how God can search and know our hearts. (It would stand to reason that He is the one with the best perspective of our lives, and can reveal to us the issues that weigh us down and hold us back.) I've also found that God's Word is an excellent window into the soul. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that "the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." If you are wondering where to start on your journey of soul searching, then prayer and immersion in the Bible is ideal.

I know I've been lugging stuff around for a while, and I'm used to it. If you've ever been hiking in the mountains, and you carry a backpack, after a while you don't really notice the weight. It's once that weight is lifted off that you suddenly feel so incredibly light, almost like your shoulders and back are floating!

To make another analogy, if I want to get on the plane and enjoy the adventure that is to come, I must be willing to surrender my luggage and make it available for a security check. If you've traveled on a plane internationally lately, then you've noticed how obsessive the security for flights has become. First you must subject your baggage to an x-ray (and put yourself through a metal detector, after removing your shoes and belt and any other objective items). If the security personnel are feeling motivated, they will continue to examine your luggage by swishing a small piece of cloth through your purse, laptop bag and/or suitcase in search of incriminating scents that will be picked up by their fancy 'drug-and-bomb-busting-sensors'. If they still feel skeptical and dubious about your items, they will then subject them them to a hand-search, with no sense of respect to your neatly packed shirts, shorts and underwear that may be in your suitcase. I know they are just doing their job, but it certainly does emphasize my point. It is not easy or comfortable to become vulnerable, and to subject yourself to a baggage search. But holding onto questionable things (or thoughts and emotions) may delay or even prevent your departure to a better place.

So what I'm trying to convey is that the process is uncomfortable but necessary. If you truly desire for your relationship with others and most of all your relationship with God to be better... then it is vital to strip away the unnecessary, hindering and afflicting baggage that weighs you down. Unfortunately, we must become brutally honest with ourselves to examine our hearts and face the issues which hold us back.

I am in a place where I refuse to continue to be the same person whom I've been for much of my marriage (and, let's face it, for half my life). It's time for change and I feel God's finger pointing at areas of my life which I've kept under wraps for so long. I won't allow myself to be weighed down any more. I've got my ticket in hand and I'll do whatever it takes to get on the flight. No more junk. No more suitcases filled with misconceptions and cumbersome emotional issues. I'm streamlining and only have room in my carry-on bag for the things in life that matter most.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23,24)

Final boarding call... I'm here and I'll do whatever it takes to not miss this flight.

The Incredible Journey (and the luggage required)

Preparing a family for an overseas move is pivotal, emotional and in many ways, life changing. Five and a half years ago, our then "little" family consisting of only 3 young children made the move to live in Asia for a school year.

First we had to deal with the issue of storage - what to keep and what to sell, give away or throw away. We would only have a small amount of storage while we were away, and to be honest, we had no clue if or when we would return to Canada. I learned a lot about myself as I pared down our belongings to just a few dozen boxes, many consisting of kitchen paraphernalia and photo albums. It opened my eyes to what really matters in life - and that so much of what we hold onto and try to acquire is just "stuff".

Then, as our travel date drew closer, I was trapped in a paranoid frenzy of activity; feeling completely ill-equipped with the ability to pack all the necessary items for our family's journey (and did I mention that I was now 4 months pregnant?).

When our journey of epic proportions at long last arrived, we were outnumbered by suitcases and backpacks. We made the most of the lax (compared to today's stringent standards) rules of how much baggage each paying passenger could bring on the trans-Pacific flight. Somehow, when our 6am check-in time began in Calgary where we departed, we managed to maneuver our 3 small children, 8 suitcases and 4 carry-on bags through the lines and past security. We were on our way!

There was a sigh of relief when we completed the first leg of our trip and arrived at LAX. The airport was teeming with a colorful kaleidoscope of people, speaking languages from all over the globe. We grabbed a quick bite to eat - neither breakfast nor lunch, for we were already jet-lagged and disoriented from our 4am rising and precious little sleep the night before from the sense of anticipation and panic over the idea of missing our flight.

Soon enough, it was time to line up for the international security check before boarding our flight to Asia. Something was wrong though. The doors leading through to security were blocked off, and a speedily growing chain of travelers was snaking through the cavernous room full of airline ticket booths and small shopping nooks. We knew we had to get through the customs and security doors in order to check-in for our flight, so we begrudgingly lined up behind a hundred or more other passengers. Whispers of a security threat soon made their way back to us, and we began to fret, wondering if we would indeed make this momentous flight!

At long last, the line began to move - with a speed that challenged our laden down family that now consisted of tiring, grumpy little children! We had a couple trolleys loaded with our luggage, but as soon as we arrived at the security doors, we were condescendingly informed that we must leave the trolleys behind, and physically transport our suitcases, carry-on and children through the switchback line-up to security without any further mechanical assistance! My husband, ever the dependable, determined and assertive type, creatively managed to load himself up like a pack-mule with 2 suitcases on his back while pulling 3 of the other suitcases. We put backpacks on our oldest kids (who were 3 and 5, respectively) and also instructed them to pull their little suitcases (the mini-sized ones that they make for kids with cartoon characters on them). I was loaded with our toddler in a backpack on my back, and several suitcases being pulled with both hands, along with another carry-on back-pack hanging in the crook of my elbow (and, of course the balancing effect of my 4 1/2 month pregnant belly in the front!) Really, as I look back to that day and try to procure the memory of that specific event, I'm not exactly sure how we managed to transport so many items through that 200 meter stretch!

At one point, the line ahead of us had broken far ahead of us, and there was now a large gap between us and the other passengers going through security. It seemed like a daunting task, just to reach the security personnel, and now we were holding up other travellers as we hobbled along, trying in vain to verbally quicken our children with their own heavy loads while we were loaded down nearly beyond our capabilities. I remember catching the wheel of a suitcase as I made a hairpin turn in the switchback, and it made the suitcase wobble off balance so it was twisted backwards. I was exasperated and sweaty, and nearly in tears and my husband was now quite a distance ahead of me! Our daughter was quickly catching up to her daddy, and I managed to right the suitcase and get back on track amid the huffs and grumbling of disgruntled passengers behind me. I took off at breakneck speed (or at least at a tortoises' pace) and tried to catch up. Suddenly I realized I had a little son behind me, and I saw my poor little guy struggling with his bags. "Let's go, Ethan!!!" I exclaimed in frustration.

He was doing his best, but at that moment, one of the nicest security guards I have ever seen in this lifetime let out an encouraging cheer to my wee almost-four-year-old. "Come on, Ethan! You can do it!" he belted out with a big smile. Ethan moved his little legs as quickly as he could and caught up to the rest of the family.

Well, we made it through security, and proceeded to our 14 hour flight across the ocean on a trip of a lifetime. I look back at that scurrying and panic with a smile because of one man's kind encouragement that quickened the steps of my child and brightened my day.

When I started thinking about this post, my thoughts were focused on the idea of baggage and the stuff we carry around in life. The way my family travelled to Thailand a few years ago was not the ideal travelling situation, although we made it work. Nowadays, with the stringent flight restrictions, if you can travel with just a carry-on bag, most people will do so to avoid hassle and extra costs. Obviously, the incredible amount of endurance and ingenuity that it took for us to transport our family is not easy or without challenges!

As we travel through our lives, we all carry a certain amount of baggage. Sometimes memories afford us a sense of comfort and satisfaction, and give us meaning as we embark on life's journey. Other times, the excess baggage holds us back, weighs us down and threatens our ability to meet life's challenges and see the amazing destinations we would like to reach.

I wanted to introduce the image of baggage in life as I begin this next series of blogs. I feel like God has been speaking to me about letting go of some things in my life, so I can better reach for the future.

Philippians 3:13 talks about "forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead." As we walk through life, we collect many ideas, mindsets and memories which affect the way we think, feel and interact with others. I feel like I am coming into a season of letting go, and I am prayerfully considering how to let go of the baggage that weighs me down.

One last thought, and a preview of what I will be sharing on a little more in the next couple of blogs - Isaiah 43:18, 19 gives us these instructions:

"Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.

Welcome to my journey... I hope you'll join me in seeking God for something new!

Learning to Love

I recently heard a question that unnerved me and disrupted my narrow-minded, cloudy, numb-to-reality view of myself.

The guest speaker (I'm not certain who, but it was broadcasted on Focus on the Family) posed this question, that is intended to be self-directed:

What is it like to be married to me?

Uhh.... can I take a few minutes to think about this one? Maybe I should actually get back to you in a week or so, then I will be able to rate myself on my more recent, adjusted performance in this area!

It's very easy to think about the stuff we do, and rate ourselves based on what WE think is good in terms of our relationships with others.

It is a sobering thought to judge ourselves in a way that considers how our actions are perceived by those around us, rather than simply judging ourselves based on our own opinions. How does my husband actually feel about how I treat him? Additionally, how do my children, family and friends feel about how I treat them? By asking myself these questions, I am seeking to view things from a perspective outside my own little bubble.

Have you ever heard of "love languages"? This is a term coined by the author Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages". Designed to assist a married couple in determining the best way to make their spouse feel loved, and to understand the specific actions that make oneself feel loved, this book is a great resource for enhancing relationships. Essentially, people respond to different behaviors and certain actions: touch, words, kind deeds, gifts and quality time will affect you to varying degrees. One woman may adore receiving roses and chocolate, while another feels loved when her husband simply sits down and spends quality time with her. The key is to understand what makes you and your spouse feel loved, so you can "speak" their language and avoid unnecessary frustration.

It's very easy to do what comes naturally. This may seem like a ridiculous statement, but I have to wonder how often my actions are based on what feels "normal" to me, and not based out of consideration for others.

I don't want to go through life self-centered. This isn't to say that we need to be constantly worried about how we appear to others, and to have a fear of what others think of us. This is more about doing our best to show love and care. When you consider the effect that your words and actions have on those around you, when you try to see things through another person's eyes - you are then showing true, unselfish love. This is a generous love that will give without expecting something in return. This is the kind of love that is sacrificial and whole-hearted.

Just some brutal honesty here... but I really want to love like that. I might not be very good at it now, but I want to change. I will probably continue to make a lot of mistakes in this journey, but I'm praying earnestly that this area of my life will transform, and that those close to me will feel more loved.

Keeping the Dogs Fenced In

Disclaimer: I am going to offend some of you with my dislike of small dogs. Please forgive me this one time and try to keep an open mind to my bias, for illustrative purposes.

I have a strong distaste for little dogs. To me they are yappy, unpredictable, nippy, excitable and often exhibit a frenetic disposition which I detest. Give me a Great Dane, Retriever, Collie or even a Pit Bull and I'm happy - it's those little yippy Terriers and Shih Tzus that put me on edge. Yes, I had a bad experience being chased by a hyper, territorial, curly haired little devil when I was a child so I agree that I am biased. But my feelings about small dogs lend well to the point I'd like to illustrate today in my blog, so I'll ere to the side of my feelings about dogs and carry on with my thoughts for today.

I went for a run outside on Tuesday, and it was exceptionally nice to be outdoors in the fresh Spring air (crossing my fingers that Spring is actually here to stay!). I was in one of the newer neighborhoods in the city, the kind that has houses backing along a greenspace, with short chain-linked fences overlooking a pretty pond and wetland. There is a pathway all around the lake - so you end up running in between these people's yards and the pond and grassy hills. I came around a bend in the pathway, and suddenly heard the sound of barking. It was the kind of sound that catches you off guard and makes you jump a little, in anticipation of a potential threat. Then I saw them! There were two little terriers with their curly white hair, beady little black eyes and sharp teeth. They raced along the fence as I ran past, jumping and barking and snarling and being a general nuisance. However, to their credit, they were doing their best to defend their territory!

Once I realized that there was no real threat, just noise and the theatrical appearance of little dogs trying to get at me, I gave a scoffing look over my shoulder and raced away, down the path. I went back to enjoying the sights and sounds of spring - melting snow, birds chirping and the famous Lethbridge wind that was at this point increasing my speed with it's forceful push against my back! I forgot all about the dogs and began to make another loop around the lake when I was startled once again by their incessant barking! I glared at them for a second as I ran past, only slightly annoyed but not deterred from enjoying my run.

I've noticed that worry is like a little dog in a fenced yard. (See! Here's where I tie it all together, and you forgive me for hating little dogs because of the interesting point I have to make!) Anyway... back to the worry: It seems that you can be cruising through life and certain things pop up at you, with their loud, aggressive voices, trying to get your attention and frighten you. Most of worry's power is in its voice - it is the idea, the feeling, the mulling over of certain thoughts that make you feel weak in the knees.

Worry is something that is repetitive and often more about the "bark" than the bite. Whatever it is that you worry about - money, your kids, your health - it feels very real and concerning. The fears can tumble around in your mind with a great ability to distract. The more you focus on the worry, the more powerful it can become in your mind, and the more crippling to your perspective and ability to successfully maneuver in your daily activities.

What I have learned, however, is that you have to fence in the worry. Those little dogs may have represented little terrors in my mind - I could already see myself trying to run away, with them nipping and biting at my heels! Then, I would turn and face them, knowing that I had about 100 pounds on them and I should be able to stand my ground. Then I would resort to kicking, hoping that they didn't latch their ravenous little mouths onto my ankles..... Oh, ya... there was fence to protect me!

I have found that no matter how loudly our worries and concerns can blare at us, there is something to guard your heart and mind.

Philippians 4:7 says: And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

When I am worried and fretting about things in my life, I quickly have to step back and consider whether or not I am allowing the peace of God to guard my heart and mind. If I am taking all the responsibility onto myself as to whether or not I'll be safe, whether my family will be safe, whether we'll have enough money and whether the Mayan calendar is correct and the world is going to end on December 21, 2012.... if I let those things pile up in my mind and become fears and worries to hold onto - then I am not trusting God. Trusting God doesn't mean that those issues are ignored, but just like the little dogs behind the fence, the peace that God gives can reign in those fears and worries so you can carry on with your life.

One of the best things about God's kind of peace is that it surpasses all understanding. This means, that even when things don't make sense, you can still be at peace in your heart. We often give more power to thoughts and worries than we ought to and they develop an unreasonable force in our minds. When you reign in these thoughts by giving your fears to God, He offers a peace that keeps the "worry dogs" under control. Prayer, and essentially telling God what is bothering me and asking for his help, makes all the difference in my life when it comes to worry and fear.

With that, I will end my rant on small dogs. If you have a small dog whom you love dearly, please don't take offense. I will probably never get along with small dogs, but at least God has used them to teach me a lesson!