Thursday, November 22, 2007
Should I stay or should I go?
I feel like I'm dealing with issues of contentment right now. Over the past 6 months or so, I've been unhappy living away from my Calgary friends and Dan and I thought of ways to make a move to Calgary possible. Sometimes I just feel so alone and wish there were other people more "like me" around. Some of the friends I have in Calgary, I've know for well over 10 years and we've grown together; getting married, having babies, all of that! You can't trade a relationship like that for anything in the world!
But then when we get to thinking of what God has given to us here in Lethbridge, we are so very blessed. We have a great home with enough space and bedrooms; a wood stove that heats the house very well; a huge fenced yard; a huge garage.... We have a church that appreciates us and our ability to contribute to marriages and families. And we sure appreciate our pastor! I have a great homeschooling support system. The kids have lots of great activities they can be involved in here, in a small community environment.
This has made me realize that I wasn't really asking God where we are supposed to be right now; I was just wanting to believe that we could move to Calgary because I really want (and thought I needed) to be there. But it is almost as if He is asking us to trust Him with those issues (my desire for friends for me, and good peers for my older children). It is a frightening thing... but when it all comes down to it, the thought of moving AGAIN was stressful, and felt like we were striving to make something happen.
Then I start to hear that little voice again "Trust me..."
I remember that there is One who has a better perspective than me, better plans than mine and loves me more than I can imagine.
I feel a lot of relief in trusting Him and His plans. I have to remember that my ideas aren't always the best ones. I look at how far God's brought us, and I can't deny His ability to lead us on good paths.... if we listen and trust Him.
I'm curious to see how this will all work out; but He does promise to provide for all my needs: physical, emotional, spiritual.
Trust and obey
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey.