Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Email about 1 Timothy 2

I recently had a male friend email me about my interpretation of some scriptures about women. I thought it made pretty good blog material, and I think I may do some further study along these lines in the future.

The scripture in question is 1 Timothy 2:9 - 15
The question, how does this apply to the modern woman?

First off, the Message version is pretty interesting:

9 And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions 10 but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. 11 I don't let women take over and tell the men what to do. 12 They should study to be quiet and obedient along with everyone else. 13 Adam was made first, then Eve; 14 woman was deceived first - our pioneer in sin! - with Adam right on her heels. 15 On the other hand, her childbearing brought about salvation, reversing Eve. But this salvation only comes to those who continue in faith, love, and holiness, gathering it all into maturity. You can depend on this.



From what I remember, much of the epistles were written to specific situations within the churches to which they were sent. I have heard (and I’m sorry but I haven’t looked it up) that there was an issue with domineering women in this church.



It would be easy to toss this verse out and say… that’s just what was happening in that culture. However, scripture also says:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.
I Corinthians 11:3

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Ephesians 5:23

God obviously has ordained an order of authority in the family.



Conversely, He doesn’t mean for men to be domineering and controlling over their wives. Men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Men are to cherish their wives as they would take care of their own bodies.



Ephesians 5

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, F15 of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." F16 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.



Ultimately, responsibility for the family’s spiritual outcome and overall wellbeing does rest on the man. However that doesn’t invalidate the woman in her ability to hear from God and sense the leading of the Holy Spirit. In a marriage where the couple is in submission to both God and each other, they can both be involved in the direction and spiritual flow of the family. Dan and I rely on each other to sense what is going on for our family and decisions we need to make… I feel an equal partner in this and he respects me. However, ultimately, if we can’t figure out what to do, the decision rests on him and I am submitted to that.



As far as the “women will be saved in childbearing” – I have heard various things and studied out various ideas. The saved is “sozo”… not the eternal salvation word, but referring to “safety, preservation, healing, wholeness, and soundness” It could be referring to protection and soundness during childbirth, because up until that point, women could be looking at the scripture of being cursed: Gen 3: 16 To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."

That does kind of go along with the whole passage about the husband being first, etc.



The aspect of beauty and looking beautiful is an easy one for me at this point. A few years ago, I really felt directed by the Holy Spirit to take a look at how I was dressing. It’s not like I thought I was dressing provocatively and I needed to wear long dresses and cover my head! But I did feel that I could dress in a way that was slightly more modest, but still be attractive. Having little girls (and a practically pre-teen girl) makes all the difference to me as well. Knowing that they watch me continually and are learning from the way I act and dress – and they are forming their opinions about how they will relate to the opposite sex from me, makes me really consider what I wear. Actually, I’ve found in many ways that children are great barometers for your actions. You consider how it would affect your child, and you quickly determine how you should or shouldn’t act!



What is the role of a woman? What a loaded question. While I don’t like to voice my opinions and I won’t push them onto anyone, I think my actions do speak for themselves. (Not to say that I am always doing the right thing!)



I’ve studied long and hard the passages about having kids vs. the opinion that a woman defined by whether or not she has babies. I feel strongly that we are given the mandate to procreate. God has many reasons for this. The home is probably the most effective place to raise disciples. Children are blessings. Never is there a passage where God says otherwise. Most importantly, I think God gives us children so that we can learn from them.

Matthew 18:1-6

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" 2 Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, 3 and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. 6 "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.



Everyday I have the opportunity to have my character molded, and my life blessed by having children in my home. We have lots of kids, because we believe it is part of God’s plan. Psalm 127 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

The great thing is, in that time, a quiver usually meant 5 arrows (ha ha) so we’ve done our duty! Just kidding…. Stopping now is more of a logistical thing – where to put them, etc. And feeling like I need to focus on the ones I have, rather than keep having more!



I also feel pretty strongly about being home to raise my kids. I don’t believe that we should send our children out into the world “to be a witness” as is the argument. We have a job to train them, teach them and protect them, and then, when they have grown, they will be capable of holding their own in the world. Why would I put them under a teacher, designate them as the “authority” and then have to undermine many things that that teacher says to my kid because it doesn’t line up with our Christian beliefs? Anyway, that is a whole other can of worms that I could write about for a while.



I have heard that many women feel useless by just staying home, changing diapers, etc. However, it all depends how you look at it. As the old proverb says “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”, it is entirely in my hands how these kids turn out. They are reflections of me, and so I hope they become reflections of Christ as I try to be more Christ like.



I’ve also read surveys that show that women aren’t necessarily happy working outside the home. The vocal minority may be monopolizing the press time and screaming out “rights for women! We don’t have to stay home all the time!” but in fact, there was a survey that most working moms would rather be with their children, and are only at work because they feel they have to. Here’s another example of a survey showing how most women would rather work part-time:



The Pew Research Center survey, being released Thursday, found that only 21 percent of working mothers with children under 18 viewed full-time work as the best arrangement, down from 32 percent in 1997. http://news.moneycentral.msn.com/provider/providerarticle.aspx?feed=AP&Date=20070712&ID=7156383



I feel like I’m jabbering on and on… and that I’m a little bit scattered here! But these are some of the ideas in my mind.



I feel complete, capable, smart…. I don’t think that by staying at home my abilities are wasting away (or being wasted on my kids). I don’t think my intelligence is a waste because being a mother of five, and homeschooling them requires a lot of intelligence and creativity! Sure I feel like I have Mommy-brain (and Mommy-body right after having a baby!) but I look at what I have: an amazing husband, wonderful children, a blessed life that could only be from God… Wow! He has taken me so far from the disturbed, depressed teen that I used to be. Praise God!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Woman's Work


Prov 31 (The Message Version)
17 First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. 18 She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

My husband is very sweet, telling me that he sees me to be like the Proverbs 31 woman - more so than anyone he knows. I know I certainly try... I've learned that the most joy in life will be from giving, and the people closest to me to give to are my husband and children. It sure makes a difference in my day when I am able to focus on them and commit my time to them, with joy!

I think the key to being a good wife/mother is Prov 31:18 "She senses the worth of her work". How many women play down their role, thinking... Oh, I'm just taking care of snotty nosed kids... I'd be better off putting them in daycare and getting a "real" job. Or how often do we show less regard for our husbands in the way we talk to them and care for them, then we would show for the grocery checker at the local supermarket?

My family is so worth it. God planned for us, planned for our family and the specific mix of personalities and character that are particular to us. He knew all along the way I would stuggle sometimes with personality issues that I feel clash between me and my kids!!

Okay... back to another exciting day in a household of 4 energitic kids (and one overdue baby!).

Thursday, January 31, 2008

New Thoughts for the New Year

Being in a new year always brings me to consider my actions and experiences of the past year. I don't want to grow stagnant, I really do want to improve year by year.

I feel like last year was a set-back for me. Honestly, at the beginning of the year I was flying high! I was back from the mission field, getting settled into our first real house, doing a pretty good job homeschooling, and ABOVE ALL, I was finally back into daily devotions. Then it all came crashing down on me when I had the miscarriage.

It was as if my spiritual walk grew completly numb. I still believed in God - I've known Him for too many years to turn away from Him. But I lost faith - mostly in myself. I couldn't understand why something so bad would happen when I had been doing everything so right. I had concisouly been trying to be a good mom, good wife, good Christan, good church-member. And at the top of my "goodness", it all fell apart.

I actually wanted to be depressed, but I knew I couldn't for the sake of my kids and my wonderful husband.

I didn't really talk to God for a LONG time... except for my tiny little cracked open door every night when Dan and I would say our "bedtime prayers" together.

Why is it that you must eventually say "I will never understand, but I have to move on..."?

So I'm moving on.

I can't give up on following Jesus wholeheartedly. I guess I feel like I have no other options. Even when it is hard and doesn't make any sense... where else could I turn? I think I understand what the disciples meant when they were saying to Jesus - "Leave you? Where would we go? You have to words of LIFE!"

Here's what it says in The Message: John Chapter 6

60 Many among his disciples heard this and said, "This is tough teaching, too tough to swallow." 61 Jesus sensed that his disciples were having a hard time with this and said, "Does this throw you completely? 62 What would happen if you saw the Son of Man ascending to where he came from? 63 The Spirit can make life. Sheer muscle and willpower don't make anything happen. Every word I've spoken to you is a Spirit-word, and so it is life-making. 64 But some of you are resisting, refusing to have any part in this." (Jesus knew from the start that some weren't going to risk themselves with him. He knew also who would betray him.) 65 He went on to say, "This is why I told you earlier that no one is capable of coming to me on his own. You get to me only as a gift from the Father." 66 After this a lot of his disciples left. They no longer wanted to be associated with him. 67 Then Jesus gave the Twelve their chance: "Do you also want to leave?" 68 Peter replied, "Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. 69 We've already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God."


Following Jesus isn't always easy... especially in this fallen world where life just doesn't make sense. But following Jesus is all I really know to do now. I couldn't turn my back on Him. I couldn't walk away. I'm ruined for anything else.

One step in front of the other. I keep going... letting my faith be strengthened day by day.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Should I stay or should I go?


I feel like I'm dealing with issues of contentment right now. Over the past 6 months or so, I've been unhappy living away from my Calgary friends and Dan and I thought of ways to make a move to Calgary possible. Sometimes I just feel so alone and wish there were other people more "like me" around. Some of the friends I have in Calgary, I've know for well over 10 years and we've grown together; getting married, having babies, all of that! You can't trade a relationship like that for anything in the world!

But then when we get to thinking of what God has given to us here in Lethbridge, we are so very blessed. We have a great home with enough space and bedrooms; a wood stove that heats the house very well; a huge fenced yard; a huge garage.... We have a church that appreciates us and our ability to contribute to marriages and families. And we sure appreciate our pastor! I have a great homeschooling support system. The kids have lots of great activities they can be involved in here, in a small community environment.

This has made me realize that I wasn't really asking God where we are supposed to be right now; I was just wanting to believe that we could move to Calgary because I really want (and thought I needed) to be there. But it is almost as if He is asking us to trust Him with those issues (my desire for friends for me, and good peers for my older children). It is a frightening thing... but when it all comes down to it, the thought of moving AGAIN was stressful, and felt like we were striving to make something happen.

Then I start to hear that little voice again "Trust me..."

I remember that there is One who has a better perspective than me, better plans than mine and loves me more than I can imagine.

I feel a lot of relief in trusting Him and His plans. I have to remember that my ideas aren't always the best ones. I look at how far God's brought us, and I can't deny His ability to lead us on good paths.... if we listen and trust Him.

I'm curious to see how this will all work out; but He does promise to provide for all my needs: physical, emotional, spiritual.

Trust and obey
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

It's a boy!

Yahoo! We found out we're going to be having another boy!
I have been on cloud nine since my doctor's appointment on Monday. I feel so much happiness and like our family will be complete. I'm so glad Ethan doesn't have to be disappointed and that the kids' prayers have been answered. (My prayers too, although I was almost afraid to ask!)

YAHOOOOO! A big thank you to God for this one!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Do I measure up?

Things that mean I'm an okay mom:
I painted pictures with the kids
I made fresh bread for them (okay, I used the breadmaker)
I did a load of laundry
I helped Ethan practice piano and took him to his lesson
I breastfed my 1 1/2 year old (I haven't weaned her yet mostly because I know it is so good for her)
I made lunch for my family
I helped all 3 "big" kids with a little bit of schoolwork


Why do I feel so badly about myself? I struggle constantly with wanting to get more done, and do more and be better... I feel like I'm lacking in so many ways. I don't want anyone to read my blog anymore or they'll think I'm a depressed person. Dan tells me all the time that I'm the best Mommy he knows out of all our friends (so kind of him to say!) but I feel like I lack in so many areas.

On Saturday and Sunday I started to get scared a little about this baby, that something might be wrong because I wasn't really feeling much movement. The thing is, it's still pretty early, so it's not like I should have been feeling a lot of regular movement yet. But I started to get scared again. I HATE that fear. Like I have no control over the situation, yet it is so close to me that I should be able to do something!!!! Finally, on Sunday, I realized that what I needed to recognise is that this is Gods baby all the way. I have to surrender this baby to God, doing my best, but ultimately this baby belongs to Him. And I guess that's the way it is with my other kids too. They belong to God. I should do what I can, but they belong to Him, and I have to trust Him with my kids' lives and hearts.

I'm trying, I'm trying. I just long to be better. And I don't think that is totally wrong - as long as I'm not grovelling in the dirt, beating myself up in self-pity. I have to take my eyes off myself. See, I'm preaching to myself now. I can do this right... just have to look to God a whole lot more!!!!

By the way, I had an ultrasound on Monday and baby is completely healthy and perfect the way he/she should be. Yay!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Happy Heart

Okay, I've been looking back on my blogs and I feel like I've been so NEGATIVE! Egad! It's not that I spend all my time depressed... I guess this has just been a place to really sort out my feelings.

I am very happy and thankful for healthy, beautiful kids. Sure I worry about them sometimes, and wonder if I'm doing things right or doing enough, but I really should trust God to take care of them. And I do.

I'm happy and thankful for a GREAT marriage. We have our growing pains, but we are growing - closer and more in love all the time. We don't fight and we don't disagree on where we should be going in life. It is wonderful to have that kind of harmony.

There... I feel a little better. As they say in Veggietales "A thankful heart is a happy heart". It's okay for me to be working through things with God, but I want to make sure I'm not always in a dark hole when I post. Sometimes I need to fix my thoughts on the good things!