Tuesday, May 8, 2007

This is just how I feel...

My heart is so soft now I think I could almost describe it as squishy. Ha ha... and maybe a little bit broken, too.
I have a heightened awareness of how precious my kids are. I find myself almost wanting to wake them up at night; I'll be overcome by a panic attack, feeling like I didn't love them enough while they were awake.
I just want to get on with my life, but I also feel horrible and don't want to ever forget about my sweety that will never walk on this side of life. I'm trying to picture heaven and wonder what life is like for my baby there.
Right now, the positive thing that I can be thankful for is how much more I love my kids and husband. I'm thankful for a heart that is sensitive to life around me and that I find it so much more precious now.
Yet I'm finding life a lot more exhausting right now. I don't want to keep thinking or writing about anything else right now because it hurts too much.

3 comments:

Shantelle said...

Hey! I am sorry that your hurting. It may not seem like it now but things will get better. I was at your point one time too and some days still am so trust in the Lord and trust me when I say that things will get better.

Cheryl said...

Interesting, I know on the 21 Day reformation you wanted to appreciate your kids more and be less frustrated. Even though this was a tough journey, I see God answering your prayer and increasing your love and appreciation for them.

Tamera said...

Lisa,

I'm praying for you.